Posted by: susankayjones | July 17, 2010

SPLICE day 15 (the day we knew was coming)

goodbyes.

so painful.

but also so sweet.

to feel pain in “goodbye” means that what you are leaving was good. was rich. was real.

it’s impossible to encapsulate what i am feeling in this blog post, but here is the paradox that i find myself sitting in today…not even 24 hours after leaving MTI.

i’m devastated, and yet, hopeful for my friends’ journeys.

i’m weepy, and yet, rejoice over the sweetness and depth of relationship i expereienced there.

i’m empty, and yet, so full because of WHY we had to say goodbye—to fulfill the great commission!

i’m sad, and yet, nope…..just sad.

i knew it would be hard to leave. had counted on that. but for some reason, i find myself experiencing an incredibly deep sense of loss. i lived with these sweet people for up to 5 weeks—ate together—laughed together—prayed together—played together—became vulnerable and transparent together—learned together—and definitely wept together. these are bonds that will not quickly be broken.

there was a sweetnes in the friendships i formed at MTI because these are people who understand. they “get it” in regards to all things missions. they understand the joy and pain of following God to another country. they understand the sacrifice. they overwhelm me with their stories and acts of extreme courage and obedience. they inspire me with their heart for the nations. they just get it.

this is just the first of several rounds of goodbyes in the next month for me. would appreciate your prayers…good goodbyes are so, so hard. but,will definitely be worth it. ultimately, my heart is SO grateful to even have goodbyes that hurt so much. it means i have loved, and been loved well. what a blessing.

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Responses

  1. You are such a gifted writer, Susan, and put things into words so clearly! I’m encouraged by all you have been learning and putting into practice. I love you!

  2. Well said my friend! Miss you šŸ™‚


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